Ornaments to Go

You never know what people need
to perfect their housedressing.

Yard Art makes a gesture at the passing world. Sometimes beckoning, sometimes rude, often amusing. Once you realize people are communicating with ornaments, you may want to join the conversation. There's a host of stock phrases: Featherstone's flamingos, fat fannies, plastic geese, exploded tires, junk cars. The real poetry in dooryardese, however, is the handmade concoction you put out to irritate that special neighbor. Or make a simple celebration of your own peculiarity. Perennially I get roped into making noises on signboard for someone. Here's a few.

Tricks The first Milhous Memorial ornament directed pickers to a strawberry farm. "Just turn left at Nixon." Then he was abducted. The second Milhous is safely enclosed in a welded cell. Karmic art.

Treats Remember the run for Turtle Island? This one went to a political dreamer.

and other Strange Birds A Calico Goose for a lady who sells soap under that name. A natty golfer for a Floridian.

Cult Figures On the road or a la king.

Full Figures Carolyn Chute, who stands up for the real Maine. And Honey Moonshine, what Maine guys really want to see. Nobody said this stuff has to be tasteful.

Familiar Figures The RFD lady is named Olive. They call her Pop. Her husband runs the garage. It all makes some kind of sense.

Seafood Specials

Presidential Timber

Pachydermaly A party animal positioned to amuse a political jock.

Feng Shui A crystal-eyed dolphin positioned to deflect a bad vibe.

So it goes

If you simply must

have something tacky for your lawn

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